RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: You need a ‘wake up’ degree to take care of your tongue these days

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Here we go again. After the NHS decided to bring us ‘breastfeeding’, ‘pregnant people’ and a variety of other nonsensical euphemisms designed to erase biological women, the Local Government Association also decided to get in on the act.

Councils across Britain have been given a catalog of banned words and their approved replacements.

For example, apart from “mom and dad”, there is a gender-neutral “biological parent”. Staff are also told not to say, “Hello, ladies and gentlemen”, as this could offend those who might identify as neither.

The 18-page inclusive language guide, distributed to 359 English and Welsh councils, aims to “mainstream equality, equity, diversity and inclusion”. Yet after years of insisting that we refer to people of black and other ethnic backgrounds as BAME, it is now on the outlaw list, along with the word “minorities” itself.

You’re not even allowed to say “multicultural” anymore. The preferred term seems to be “global majority communities”.

What Welsh for you could not invent?

Mark Lloyd, chief executive of the LGA, explains that the new rules are essential because “experiences of trauma, racial trauma and exclusion are already experienced at a disproportionate rate by black, LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent people in the workplace. work”.

Councils across Britain have been given a catalog of banned words and their approved replacements. For example, out of ‘Mummy and Daddy’ comes a gender-neutral ‘biological parent’, writes Richard Littlejohn (stock image)

Neurodivergent? It’s new for me. I had to look for it. He describes “people whose brain differences affect how they function. That means they have different strengths and challenges than people whose brains don’t have those differences, including medical disorders, learning disabilities, and other conditions.” Yet for years we have been told not to refer to people with disabilities, but rather to be encouraged to describe them as “disabled differently”.

But after getting used to the term, according to the latest guidelines, “differently capable” is also blacklisted. (Can you still say “blacklist”?) In the mirror of local government – where, like Humpty Dumpty, words mean what they want them to mean – you can’t even call the homeless “no -shelter “.

What are we supposed to say: people suffering from a housing deficit? Differently housed? I read the Inclusive Language Guide, so you don’t have to. And, to be fair, most are written in a foreign language – a cross between Professor Stanley Unwin and Bill And Ben The Flower Pot Men, if they were graduates of Woke University.

The illegal immigrant is obviously a non-starter, long translated as an asylum seeker. The same goes for “economic migrants”. The guide suggests ‘Non-UK Resident’ as an alternative. Oh, and by the way, you can’t describe anyone as “outsider” either. Or even “second generation”. I just thought to mention it. I can’t be too careful.

Other offensive words to avoid include “queer” and “colored” – except in the case of people who identify as “queer” or refer to themselves as “colored”.

The 18-page inclusive language guide, distributed to 359 English and Welsh councils, aims to

The 18-page inclusive language guide, distributed to 359 English and Welsh councils, aims to “mainstream equality, equity, diversity and inclusion”. Yet after years of insisting that we call people of black and other ethnicity BAME, it’s now on the outlaw list, along with the word ‘minorities’ itself (stock image )

Confused? You are meant to be. So while it’s perfectly acceptable for self-defining “queers” to describe themselves as such, if you or I were to do so, we might expect a dawn raid from the “crimes” squad. hater” from Scotland Yard.

The entire public sector is in the grip of this new, ever-changing language. It’s hard to follow.

For example, in the NHS these days you can’t say ‘disabled’. The correct phrase is: ‘A person with characteristics protected under the Equality Act 2010’. Yes really. And even the word ‘disease’ is banned, because – and I quote the NHS website – it ‘suggests the person might be better’. Eh ? What’s that supposed to mean?

Yet with six million on the waiting list and the chance of seeing a GP face to face with a lottery win, it is entirely possible that many of those in need of urgent treatment will not not improve.

Perhaps the NHS should adopt a new slogan: Surrender all hope to you who enter here.

Look, it’s easy to make fun of. But someone has to. Perverting language is the left’s way of exercising its false moral superiority and controlling national discourse. This has been going on for decades, but has escalated alarmingly in recent years as we have been told not just how to speak, but how we should think.

It started with a simple politeness. We don’t talk about spasms anymore and don’t use the N-word anymore. We also wouldn’t want to go back to the bad old days when we did.

The illegal immigrant is obviously a non-starter, long translated as an asylum seeker.  The same goes for the

The illegal immigrant is obviously a non-starter, long translated as an asylum seeker. The same goes for ‘economic migrants’ (archive image)

It should be mentioned, however, that when children who struggled in school began to be described as having “learning difficulties”, LD quickly became a term of derision in the playground. And when the dwarves became “people with restricted growth”, it wasn’t long before they were mocked in some cruel circles as “Porgs”.

Something that starts with the best motives can have unexpected and unfortunate consequences. What started as a way to protect vulnerable minorities has turned into a grotesque crusade against the majority – especially women, who have been reduced to mere ‘menstruators’ in order to appease the small minority intolerant, sometimes violent, trans fanatics.

The wokerati are not just rewriting language, they are now also rewriting history and human biology.

You’re not even supposed to laugh at this madness anymore. Not that it ever stopped me. When it all started, some thirty years ago, columnists like me had fun ridiculing the latest left-wing madness.

It was then that the revisionists began to hunt down anything they considered politically incorrect, even going so far as to censor and censor everything from popular children’s stories to pantos.

I remember a Derbyshire theater group being forced to change the name of a production of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame to The Bell-Ringer Of Notre Dame under pressure from disability rights campaigners.

Shortly after, the great Keith Waterhouse, deceased of this parish, wrote a column wondering what would be next. It came with: Noddy And Socially Challenged Ears.

These days, I’m not even sure Noddy would make the cut.

Watch your words.

Great Yarmouth councilors have decided against planting an alley of apple, pear or plum trees on the wharf as this could pose a safety risk.

Authorities had warned that the fruit could fall onto the sidewalk, causing passers-by to step on it and slip. They also feared that “the fruit could be used as missiles” launched at holidaymakers by local hooligans. I remember mods and rockers clashing, at the Quadrophenia on the Yarmouth seafront in the 1960s, but they were throwing rocks and bottles and deckchairs at each other, not Granny Smith pears and the conference.

It’s as stupid as the Lib Dem councilor who wanted to cut down the famous palm trees in Torquay, in case a falling slingshot caught a child in the eye. “It’s a bit like herding tigers,” he said. “Beautiful to look at, but you don’t want them wandering the streets.” Nurse!

What’s in the elf’n’safety that sends some people bananas?

A naval engineer has been acquitted by court martial of sexually assaulting a male colleague because he is “demisexual”.

So what is it – someone who slept with Demi Moore?

A naval engineer has been acquitted by court martial of sexually assaulting a male colleague because he is

A naval engineer has been acquitted by court martial of sexually assaulting a male colleague because he is “demisexual”. So what is it – someone who slept with Demi Moore?

Spare us from Lord Nonce Finder General

Nuncio Finder General Tom Watson has again been nominated for a peerage. The app was slipped under the radar by Labor as the world watched the Tories implode.

Presumably, Keir Starmer approved it. Yet the odious Watson has already been rightly rejected by the Lords Appointments Commission after being put in place by Jeremy Corbyn in 2021.

He abused parliamentary privilege and his position as Deputy Leader of the Labor Party to falsely accuse prominent Tories of murder and child abuse, acting as an intermediary for convicted pedophile and fantasist Carl Beech alias Nick, currently serving 18 years for fraud and perversion of the course of justice. Where the hell does Watson get his sense of entitlement? And if Starmer becomes PM, can we expect NFG rehabilitation to include government employment?

Watson should not be allowed within a mile of the Lords. In a just world, he would share a cell with his accomplice, Beech.

Labor has vowed to sabotage new Home Sec Sue Ellen Braverman’s determination to push through the Rwandan migrant plan. Does Keir Starmer know? After all, the team he claims to support, Arsenal, is sponsored by Visit Rwanda. And if Rwanda is safe enough for the Gooners to go on vacation, what’s wrong with sending migrants there?


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